We tend to try to rush past that soupy phase into our next — less messy, less unpleasant — phase. And understandably so. The “soupy phase” doesn't tend to be much fun. But it's a necessary part of the process of transformation.

How can we compassionately honor our own pace and emotional and energetic needs and limits as we begin to blend "inside" and "outside" in this reentry phase?

This is the same thing we're doing with self-compassion practice as adults. We're (re)installing that gentle, nurturing, maternal-type, soothing voice within ourselves that helps us feel safe and calm so we can access a sense of resilience from within whenever we need it — particularly when we're struggling, feeling scared, inept, or alone.

Ongoing pandemic or not, we still have so much control over where we place our intention and our attention. What are you pointing yours toward as we move into this (symbolic but as meaningful as we decide it to be) fresh start of the new year?

Our systems -- physical, mental, emotional, logistical, relational -- are being taxed to constantly reconfigure themselves. And the go-to practices you generally turn toward to fill your well may feel like they're just not working like they normally would.

So now here we are. Each of us in our own family units, our own communities, this country, and the world, together in this same wild situation. Reminded every day – every moment, in fact - how inextricably interwoven our cells and well-being and lives as beings on this planet are.

This path of spiritual/personal growth is rife with paradox. Things that appear on the surface to be contradictory but upon deeper exploration reveal themselves as deep Truth (capital T).

What if the more you practice hanging with the discomfort of the I-don't-know-ness rather than trying to distract yourself from it or solve your way out of it, the more strength and trust that you can handle whatever life throws at you you'll start to own within yourself?

We can't tap into our most essentially creative power or the flow of abundance when we're rushing forward. Our fullest power and potential are only available when we're firmly grounded in this present moment. 

So it's not a question of whether we'll suffer. It's only a question of whether that suffering will feed our highest Selves and set more ripples of kindness and love into motion into the world, or feed our ego and unconscious patterns in ways that perpetuate the endless cycle of suffering.

It takes courage to allow ourselves to be transformed despite the discomfort that's a necessary part of the process. It takes courage to take committed action steps in the direction of the life we want to create day after day after day even when we're not sure if "it's working" yet.

The way these human brains of ours are wired, we try to resist pain and discomfort when we anticipate them coming our way anyway. But the more we resist anything that's a natural part of the cycle of life, the more suffering we cause ourselves.

You'll experience more of whatever you regularly focus on this year. So bring some kind, consistent attention to what you want to experience this coming year, starting right now by pausing to write what you most want to create or experience down.

When we perpetuate the habit of not following through on things that feel important to us or waste precious time and energy saying we're going to do something but never actually doing it, procrastination is most definitely a habit that could use some upgrading.

But sometimes when it looks like you're procrastinating, things might not be quite as black and white as they appear.

When we really do trust the process and lean into earnest inner inquiry with curiosity rather than judgment, we arrive at insights we never could have conjured up with our logical minds alone. The deepest wisdom arises from stillness, not from doing; from being, not from thinking.

The more we strive for perfection, the less worthy we feel. The antidote to the thankless, life-force-depleting, never-ending perfectionism cycle is simple. It's the deep-in-your-bones trust that: You are enough.

It's never too late to start cultivating a new level of kindness toward ourselves. Self-compassion practice is where we can begin.

What might shift for you if you were to act as if everything your heart most desires is already on its way? If you could relax and trust that you're right on track, how would you use this down time to weed your garden and prep the soil for the sweet new things about to blossom? What happens when you stop waiting and start preparing?

We stay quiet because we fear if we put words to the things we fear most about ourselves, it will confirm that they're true. Paradoxically, the reality is the moment we share our secret shame - our monster in the closet - someone else inevitably chimes in with "Oh my God, you too? I thought it was just me!!"

Two antidotes to suffering:

1) Keep your eyes on your own paper (or yoga mat). 2) Let yourself let go of things you can't control.