Year-end Clearing & New Year Jumpstart
We're getting ready to round the corner into another new year, so I thought I'd share my end of year process to help you kick off your new year with the energy you’d like to bring and tone you'd like to set.
Find some time and space to cozy up with a journal or laptop and feel your way through the following reflections. (Lean into the prompts that speak to you and let the rest go.)
* A NOTE: If you’re aware that you have a self-critical part that frequently swoops in and tries to tell you why nothing you did was actually that great this year or that you still missed the mark in all these ways, please take some time to really get grounded in your body before going through these prompts.
Be intentional about moving through these inquiries through the filter of self-compassion rather than self-judgment. If you notice shame getting stirred up as you go, pause and do a bit of nervous system regulating to re-ground in your body before continuing.
1. What are you proud of yourself for from this past year?
What intentions did you fulfill or goals did you hit?
What growth or uncertainty did you ride out with grace despite how challenging it was?
What accomplishments or achievements (no matter how dismissibly small the ego might try to tell you they were) felt good to you?
Where did you show up with courage?
How did you let your authentic self shine in some new (maybe scary) way?
Where did you nudge out the edges of your comfort zone for the sake of embracing a greater sense of purpose in your life?
Where did you operate from some new empowering beliefs?
Where did you hold kind yet clear boundaries in some newly assertive way?
Where were you able to show up for someone with more presence and compassion and less judgment than you might have in the past?
In what new ways did you honor your truest, most essential Self this past year?
Where did you honor your nervous system’s pace in a more attuned way?
{I know it can be tempting for the perfectionist in us to skip this step, but give yourself the gift of pausing to reflect on the things you felt good about your growth or achievement around from last year. Give yourself a chance to start this new year with your Inner Critic in the backseat rather than the driver's seat.}
2. What are you grateful to this past year for?
Before setting your vision for the new year into motion, slather yourself up in gratitude for all that the past year has gifted you — no matter how challenging those gifts may have felt or how much resistance those circumstances may have stirred up at the time. This will get you in a softened head- and heart-space to step into the new year tuned into an abundance frequency.
My favorite way to do this is as a "Highlight Reel."
Make a nice long list of all the moments and events — big and small — that bring a smile to your face or a sense of warmth, expansiveness, wholeness, aliveness, peace or joy to your body as you reflect on them from the past year.
{It's amazing how easily the mind can forget about all our growth and accomplishments and lean toward regret or self-criticism for things that didn't feel like enough. So, again, I really encourage you to linger with these first two steps before diving into the next.}
3. What did you learn about yourself this year?
In what ways did you show yourself that you have more capacity and resilience than you’d been giving yourself credit for?
What blind spots did you become aware could still use some heightened awareness and care?
In what areas did you learn you still have room to strengthen and grow?
4. Where did you (unintentionally) abandon or steamroll past the needs and fears of some younger parts of yourself?
Are there any ways you can spot in hindsight that the doer, striver, perfectionist, people-pleaser (etc.) parts of you had you bulldoze past internal cues that some scared or vulnerable parts of you needed you to move more slowly or offer them more reassurance as you pursued your expansive goals?
What words of repair, reassurance, love or support would you like to offer to those scared, younger parts of yourself now? How can you reassure them that you’ll move toward your goals in a way that more thoughtfully takes their needs into account this year?
5. Clear the channels. (Out with the old.)
In order to create space to welcome your next-level vision for the new year, what needs to be let go of, processed, or integrated?
What's it time to become willing to say goodbye to — physically or energetically — in the name of freeing up energy to put toward what you really want to create or receive in the upcoming year?
What wants to be forgiven within yourself around any perceived mistakes or unmet goals from the past year?
What judgments (of self or others) are asking to be released?
What unhelpful habitual ways of speaking to yourself are ready for a self-compassionate upgrade?
What beliefs have been limiting your greatest good or stifling your highest Self that you're ready to upgrade in this new year?
6. Clarify your vision for the coming year. (In with the new.)
Supported by your growth, insights and new wisdom from the past year, what are you ready to create, welcome, manifest, contribute, experience or receive in this new year?
If fear (often dressed as self-doubt) weren't telling you it's not possible, what would you declare that you're ready to create, ask for or welcome in this new year?
7. How do you want to feel this year? (Inner goals.)
Connected? Aligned? Present? Grounded? Joyful? Open? Loving? Spacious? Expansive? Courageous? Abundant? Curious? Playful? Peaceful? Purposeful? Successful? Inspired? Fulfilled? Energized? Kind? Accomplished? At ease? In the flow? Confident? Trusting? Creative? Accepting? Strong? Integrated? Clear?
Write these core desired feelings down.
8. Capture the essence of your intention(s) for the new year in a theme word or phrase.
Once you land on a word or phrase that feels right, post it all over the place. This will be your anchor — your north star — for the coming year.
Any time you find your focus wandering from your most aligned intentions this year, glance at your Post-It notes, calendar reminders, screensaver, etc. to bring your attention back to your home base intention.
9. What actions can you regularly take / what habits can you proactively nourish to help nurture those feelings? (Outer goals.)
This is the start of your action blueprint for the year.
Brainstorm onto paper all the possible ideas you can imagine for how you could start to feel more the way you want to feel and bring to life the ideas and contributions you want to bring to life this year.
Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling:
* Write out a list of things that bring you joy or energize you and commit to picking one thing off this list to bring front and center into each of your days.
* Change your passwords to intention-aligned mantras.
* Plan ways to surround yourself with supportive, inspiring people: A regular phone call or dinner date with your best friend? A new book club? A mastermind group? A new dance, creative writing, language, improv, or cooking class? A hiking group?
* Invest in an annual pass to the yoga studio or gym you've been saying you "should" get to.
* Start a meditation practice.
* Start a list of regulating practices that help you feel grounded and centered within yourself and regularly turn to these resources when you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, shut down, etc. (gentle swaying or rocking, butterfly taps across the chest, humming, audible sighs, feeling your feet on the Earth, breathing in through the nose to the count of five and out to the count of five, etc.)
* Write out your first three steps to "getting out there" with your new business venture or creative project and take just one small step in that direction right now.
* Write out what you plan to say when you ask for the raise or promotion you're due or draft the email you’ll send to your clients to announce that you're raising your rates and put a date on your calendar for when you’ll initiate that conversation / send that email.
* Ask a supportive, like-minded partner to be your accountability buddy for the year.
* Write down the first step you'll need to take to bring your top intention for the new year to life; then take one bite-sized step in that direction right now.
There's no need to get too nit-picky about this whole process. No "perfect" required (or possible) here.
Take whatever chunk of relatively uninterrupted time you can find that's realistic for your life right now — you'd be surprised what you can clarify for yourself in just 20 minutes in early January, if that's all you can reasonably snag with a new baby or whatever other fullness might be going on in your life right now — and just do a little capturing on paper.
You'll experience more of whatever you regularly focus on this year. So bring some kind, consistent attention to what you want to experience this year, starting right now.
Raising a glass to a new year brimming with whatever you'd most like to experience and contribute.
Lots of love,
Melissa
PS - If you’re feeling called to gift yourself some support as you dive deeper into self-exploration and whole-being integration this year, be in touch to chat about 1:1 coaching possibilities for the new year.