Why Slowing Down Is So Uncomfortable
I recently shared a story in a video about how I would get so swept up into an urgency-driven-rushing vortex while getting my kindergartener out the door in the mornings that I would feel body-snatched.
It was like a switch would flip inside me, and within a few seconds I would turn from a calm, present, connected mom into a pushy, stressed-out, tunnel-visioned beast.
And the comical thing was, we live a block from school and it's not a big deal in the slightest to roll into clap-in a few minutes after the bell.
There was truly no risk in reality.
So the sense of urgency that would rise up within me was completely disproportionate to the circumstances of the actual present moment…
But that visceral sense of needing to rush and push us forward in this urgent way *felt* absolutely real and dire.
Maybe this sounds or feels familiar to you?
We come by our rushing habit honestly, both from a cultural and evolutionary standpoint.
Our nervous system is constantly scanning the landscape for signals of danger. When the terrain appears danger-free, our nervous system rests at its balanced set point.
But when a threat is detected — even the slightest whiff of a possible threat — our system activates into protective mode.
Our brain and body coordinate with the message: “There's a threat coming our way. QUICK! Get it together! We've gotta MOVE!!”
So this rushing-with-urgency mode is a brilliant protective adaptation.
But the thing is, our nervous system often predicts current danger based on past experience.
Which means that our present moment rushing pattern is wired to the assumption that something dangerous or unpleasant from our past might happen again if we don't constantly move at hyper-speed — regardless of whether that assumption is reality-based today.
So if you've noticed that constantly rushing through your days is injecting unnecessary stress into your life, you can play with gradually dialing that habit down.
The first step, as always, is tuning in with clear-eyed, mindful awareness to really notice the existing pattern.
Start to notice:
How does this rushing pattern show up in your days?
How does your body feel when it's happening?
What thoughts run through your mind when this urgency mode stirs up?
Get curious:
What intended purpose does this rushing pattern serve?
What parts of you feel like they're “at the wheel” when this excessive rushing mode kicks in?
What do those protective parts fear might happen if they stopped making you believe everything was urgent?
What's your sense of how old those parts were when they were created?
What are those scared, under-resourced parts of you needing in order to feel reassured that you're actually safe now?
Gently follow your curiosity as a guide through the layers.
And if you'd like to explore why it can feel so hard to slow down and how to walk through the process in a more in-depth way, you can check out the full video here.
Lots of Love,
Melissa
PS - If you’re curious about exploring these themes in a personalized way, be in touch about 1:1 coaching possibilities.