When In Doubt, Pause & Get Grounded
Coaching clients sometimes arrive to our sessions in a fast-spinning headspace as their minds work in overdrive to figure out or fix an issue being viewed as a problem.
They speak exclusively from their heads in this mode, offering convincingly logical arguments for strategies to solve the perceived problem.
And problem-solving is absolutely a useful mode to get into — with an important caveat:
Your nervous system has to be regulated enough to access your fully integrated brain in order to activate effective problem-solving mode.
If you try to force clarity when you’re completely freaked out, aka your prefrontal cortex is offline, solution-seeking will feel like pushing a boulder uphill.
So when you notice you’re entering lid-flipped territory — ideally when you’re in the yellow vs. the red zone, approaching dysregulation but not quite there yet — there’s only one thing you need to remember to try to do:
Get yourself grounded enough to be able to see and think clearly again (aka close your “flipped lid” back down).
Some simple ways you can help do that for yourself in the moment:
Place your palms over your belly or heart and take three full, deep abdominal breaths. Breathe in slowly to the count of five and out slowly to the count of ten — or doubling the length of exhale to however long your inhale is — through the nostrils.
Stand with your feet hip-width apart and gently bounce with slightly bent knees as you let your arms twist like empty coat sleeves from side to side, twisting around your torso so your hands lightly pat your lower back with each swing.
Gently shake out your arms and legs while bouncing the body slightly.
Gaze out through a window at the horizon. Let your eyes look to the left, to the right, up, down and all around.
Lift and replace your socked or bare feet on the floor — or, even better, on grass if you have access — a few times, spreading your toes wide as you do.
Make a few audible sighs.
Gently hum a favorite tune to yourself for a minute or two (vocalization like this stimulates the vagus nerve and helps shift the nervous system into a regulated state).
Then, once your body and nervous system are back into a more settled homeostatic range — your breath has gotten back to a more normal rhythm and depth, your thoughts are no longer racing a mile a minute, you’re no longer feeling a pit of existential doom-y nausea churning in your gut — THEN you can get back up into your head and strategize toward useful, practical solutions.
When in doubt, slow down and get grounded. Clarity will open back up from there.
And if all this “regulation” stuff is new to you and you'd like some personalized support as you dip toes into these mind-body-integrating waters, be in touch to chat about possibilities for working together 1:1.
With Love,