Is Mindfulness Making You Feel More Confused Than Before? (4 Tips to Help)

When I was getting certified as a nutritionist and first getting really into my mindfulness practice years ago, I started to go a little…over the top.

I starved myself in the name of cleansing (the Master Cleanse, while physically clearing and spiritually powerful, couldn't have been much worse for my constitution) a few times a year.

I sprinkled sea-drenched spirulina powder on everything I ate.

I agonizingly weened myself off caffeine and cut out sugar.

I drank kombucha like it was water.

I wouldn't eat sushi unless it was wrapped in brown rice.

But I ran into a hiccup in this rigid phase: I still loved beer.

And I wanted to let myself keep enjoying it, but I stopped being able to. When all I wanted to do was enjoy a pint with friends on a warm San Diego summer night, I couldn't get out of my head.

I could no longer just enjoy this thing I used to so enjoy, and it was really bummin' me out.

Watching every single thought that crossed my mind and being aware of every sip that crossed my lips was driving me crazy.

A Pandora's box had been opened with all this mindfulness stuff, and I couldn't flip the awareness switch off now even when I wanted to.

And even though a lot of these shifts were leading me in an ultimately healthier, more balanced direction, this new awareness felt more like a curse than a blessing at first.

I started to wonder if all this mindfulness was actually making me less present rather than more; making me feel more unbalanced, not less.

Was I mistaken, or was I more in my head and less in the flow of life more now than ever? 

I felt duped. I wondered if maybe all this mindfulness stuff was just hype…??

This is a question I hear from coaching clients dipping toes into the mindfulness pool for the first time.

Going through the (often rocky, confusing) phase of initial consciousness expansion might make you wonder, Is ignorance bliss afterall??

And it's true; as your mindfulness muscle is just starting to grow, it can make you feel more in your head than ever. You're suddenly paying attention to everything, so it can feel like things are even crazier than before.

But the reality is, your mind was just as wild before. It's just that you're finally noticing it.

It's like when you think you never see any white cars on the freeway until the day you start to consider getting a white car — then suddenly they're "everywhere." It's not that there are actually suddenly more white cars on the freeway; it’s just that your awareness of those cars has become heightened.

But as that awareness is initially growing, it can feel overwhelming. It might even make you wonder if you were better off being less aware.

But if you've ever been on the fence about how aware you want to be, here's what I'd like to propose to you:

There is no such thing as too much awareness. There is only such thing as too little presence.

Meaning, the only times we feel overwhelmed by how much we can see and understand and feel are when we're ungrounded in the present moment; when we're either leaning forward into an imagined future or dragging ourselves back into an already-passed past.

When we're truly planted in the present moment in a firm but flexible way, awareness is nothing but just that — awareness.

It's simply noticing what's happening within and around us and letting our responses and actions flow from there.

Awareness only feels problematic when we're confusing the stories our minds are creating with mindfulness.

With curious, nonjudgmental present moment awareness (aka mindfulness), there's no story. There's just the pure, direct experience of what is.

And over time, that ability to press pause and consciously decide how you want to respond to the moments of your life will likely amp up the joy and quiet the fear and self-doubt that used to make you so crazy to a pretty mind-blowing degree.

It just takes some elbow grease to get the wheels moving initially.

And I would hate to see you cut off all the beautiful expansion you're about to be able to experience in your life before it really gets the chance to take hold. Because the fruits of your mindful labors can be sweeter than you've even imagined.

So here are a few tips to help you avoid Awareness Fatigue:

Drop into your senses. 

When you're feeling overwhelmed by an overthinking mind (stuck in analysis paralysis), notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. Your senses will bring you right back into the present moment.

Check in with where you're judging what you're noticing.

That's usually where we start to run into trouble. Awareness with judgment (good/bad, right/wrong) isn't mindfulness; it's mental story. What stories are you telling yourself that are taking you out of the present and into past or future?

Notice where you're forcing.

As your mindfulness muscle starts growing, it can be easy to fall into the trap of trying to force change. (I want to be peaceful now!!) There's no forcing required. Just keep noticing and responding to what you notice, one moment at at time.

Don't worry when your mind feels insane. 

It will sometimes. No problem. Just keep observing your experience and trusting the process to unfold just as it's meant to cumulatively over time.

And wherever you are in the process of expanding your awareness (and, with it, your heart and life), please trust this:

Things will smooth out. These are just growing pains.

Keep showing up with intention and gratitude and commitment, and things will settle down and open up. Keep doing what you're doing, and don't worry if things sometimes feel confusing along the journey.

It's all part of the process. You're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Just keep trusting yourself, trusting that the energy you're investing now will come back to you tenfold, and keep moving forward...one step at a time, enjoying the ride along the way.

Lots of Love,  

Melissa

PS - If you enjoyed this post, thanks for passing it along to someone who might get a boost from it!