How to Meditate: 10 Tips to Jumpstart Your Mindfulness Practice
"If every 8-year-old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation." - The Dalai Lama
If you're reading this post, you're likely already familiar with the term mindfulness.
The word has become downright ubiquitous, with research on mindfulness-based stress reduction programs in hospitals and mindfulness programs in schools showing powerful results, with mindfulness-based leadership courses now being taught in some of the top MBA programs around the world, and with mindfulness-based stress reduction classes being in huge demand at companies like Google.
So this mindfulness stuff all sounds good, but there's quite a bit of confusion out there about what it actually is and how to incorporate it into our daily lives in a realistic way.
This article will help clarify what mindfulness is and isn't and give you some practical tips to get started with a consistent practice.
Have you been interested in starting a meditation practice for ages but just haven't known where to start?
You're certainly not alone. Starting a meditation practice can feel overwhelming, and it's easy to get so bogged down in the details of all you think you have to do to be a "good meditator" that you never actually start.
And that would be a true shame.
Because the ability of a consistent mindfulness practice to enhance our physical and emotional wellbeing, among a long list of other benefits, is truly profound.
And ultimately most profound in its ability to open us up to the reality of how inextricably interconnected all beings are, and the love and compassion that gets uncorked with that clear seeing.
And as we become better able to stay centered in the present moment as life's waves roll through and take each moment less personally and permanently, we find our naturally authentic and compassionate Selves shining through more and more effortlessly into the world.
The great news is that mindfulness is actually a quite simple practice (much simpler, in fact, than the somewhat confusing term "mindfulness" may imply; because we're really practicing noticing how spacious the mind is in its essence, not practicing filling it up with more thinking):
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally paying attention to our present moment experience without judging it as good or bad, and without trying to change it.
It's the practice of noticing how the mind — and, by extension, how life — is in directly experienced reality.
OK, so simple doesn't always mean easy, it's true.
These human minds of ours have a tendency to wander into the past, toward regret or blame or replaying our tired old story on a loop, or jumping into the future to worry or plan or try to control what we think or fear may come next.
But if the suggestion to "Just be present" were easy, we'd already be doing it.
Because of the way our brains (and culture) are wired, we spend most of our time anywhere but the present moment. (Side note: This isn't actually true. We're always here in this present moment; it's the only place we can actually ever be. When we say we're "not present," what we're really saying is that the mind has shifted attention away from what's happening in the present moment and toward a mental conjuring of past memory or future projection.)
But we can rewire those habits to become better able to place our attention more consistently on the present moment with some simple practices and a healthy dose of commitment.
First, a note of clarity:
Meditation is a tool to cultivate mindfulness.
We grow our "mindfulness muscle" by intentionally practicing returning our attention to the present moment again and again.
And when we practice meditation in a consistent and structured way, we increase our capacity to stay present in the moments of our lives — which means experiencing less suffering through being constantly pulled mentally, emotionally, and energetically toward a past that's already happened or a future that exists only in the mind's imagination.
A structured daily practice of meditation is extremely supportive and effective to grow our mindfulness muscle.
(*While some of the "mindfulness in daily life" practices mentioned toward the bottom of this post are lovely, there's really no substitute for a consistent, structured meditation practice in order to help strengthen our mindfulness muscle to the point that it's really able to help us stay present within the movement of our daily lives.)
But it’s important to design a daily meditation ritual that feels good to you. If it feels like a “have to” rather than a “want to,” your odds of making it a sustained habit are very slim.
So here are 10 tips to jumpstart your meditation practice.
1. Be intentional.
Be clear with yourself about why cultivating mindfulness is important to you. Greater sense of inner peace? Ability to be more present with your kids or partner? Better health or sleep? Better focus? Greater access to a compassionate heart that allows you to contribute more fully to the wellbeing of others and/or the planet?
Your intention is your motivation to practice, so really check in regularly with your "why."
2. Commit.
Decide what a realistic meditation practice within the context of your current life will look like and commit to it 100%.
10 minutes a day is a great place to start. Maybe committing to 10 minutes a day for 21 days in a row feels like a reasonable starting point.
Or maybe it's a promise to yourself to sit for 10 minutes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, or for 10 minutes during your lunch break at work (in the car or a quiet conference room?).
Maybe it’s three minutes a day, seven days a week you’d like to commit to.
Or maybe at first it's committing to taking just 60 seconds each morning to take three full, deep, conscious breaths first thing when your eyes open in bed.
Any meditation is better than no meditation.
So decide what’s realistic for your lifestyle, schedule it into your calendar, and commit to it fully as a non-negotiable for yourself.
(The mind can get awfully slippery until a new habit is fully formed, so the less wiggle room we give it as to when and where and for how long we’ll meditate each day the better.)
3. Dedicate a time.
Making your practice the first "real" thing you do after waking up is a great way to make sure you get it in before the wheels of your day and your mind have a chance to derail it.
If meditating before bed or at lunchtime feels like a better fit for you, great. Experiment to see what works best for you. Generally, the more consistent with time you can be, the easier it will be to help your new habit become second nature, eventually as habitual as brushing your teeth.
4. Dedicate a place.
Create an inviting little sanctuary in a relatively quiet space where you'll least likely to be interrupted. This can be as simple as designating a corner in a reasonably quiet part of your house as your regular go-to meditation spot.
Set up your meditation chair or cushion (you can buy a zafu or just stack a few throw pillows on the floor) in a comfortable space, maybe facing a window or somewhere where the energy feels pleasant to you.
You can bring in candles, pictures, plants, a Buddha or other inspirational figure...whatever feels like it helps you drop in and connect.
Decide if you'd like to set a timer for your sessions (free phone apps are a nice portable option; just be sure to put your phone into Do Not Disturb mode. An old school stop watch or alarm clock works great too if you'd prefer to avoid phone distraction temptation) and bring it into your space with you.
5. Settle into your seat.
If you're in a chair, place both feet on the ground and scoot forward toward the edge of the seat. You might roll a blanket or shawl to place between the chair and the lumbar curve of your back until your back muscles get strong enough to support you easefully sitting upright.
If you're sitting on a cushion on the ground, settle your sitz bones (the bones you feel at the base of your seat) toward the front edge of your cushion with your pelvis tilting forward slightly, and cross one shin bone parallel in front of the other in an easeful cross-legged position (switch the cross each day). You can placed a rolled blanket or something similar under each knee if your hips need some more support at first.
Settle into a seat in which you feel alert yet relaxed; upright without being rigid.
Let your shoulders relax down away from your ears, and either rest one hand inside the other palm facing upward in your lap, or rest palms face down on your thighs. Close your eyes or find a soft gaze a few feet on the ground in front of you.
6. Notice the breath.
Simply bring your attention to the breath as it breathes itself, without forcing or altering it. Almost as if you were "riding" the waves of breath up...and down...in...and out...
If you need a little extra help focusing the attention on the breath, you might lightly label the breath “in” on the inhale and “out” on the exhale. You might also play with labeling "cool" air coming into the nostrils and "warm" air exiting them; or simply notice the feeling of air as it contacts the tip of the nostrils.
Resting the attention on the belly as it moves in and out or on the chest as it rises and falls can also be a nice way to anchor the attention.
When your attention wanders away from the breath — which it will again and again and again — just return your awareness to it when you notice it’s wandered. No problem; no judgment necessary.
If the breath doesn't feel like an accessible anchor point (including if focusing on the breath increases anxiety to a distracting degree), you can return your attention when you notice it's wandered to sensations you notice in the palms of the hands or the soles of the feet or to the sensations of your seat contacting the seat beneath you.
7. Just come back.
When the mind wanders away from this breath and this moment — and it will time and again — just come back. No story, no judgment, no problem.
Imagine you're gently bringing a puppy back to the paper where it's being trained when it inevitably wanders off. With loving, consistent encouragement, the mind will gradually learn to stay here more consistently.
8. It's all OK.
While you're intending to focus on your breath, you'll invariably notice thoughts, emotions, and sensations tugging at your attention.
You might notice frustration or anxiety or sadness as the mind quiets down. You might fall asleep occasionally. Your knee or hips or back might feel uncomfortable. You might feel the impulse to check your clock every 20 seconds.
Awareness excludes nothing. Notice and allow it all, including judgment if and when it comes up. Whatever you notice, just let it be, and then come back to this one breath or this one directly felt sensation.
9. Be gentle with yourself.
You're cultivating a practice that will support every aspect of your life from the inside out, and it will take effort and dedication and strength and the willingness to be vulnerable enough to start to feel whatever tenderness has been hidden under the layers of dust and conditioning that have accrued over the years.
Be gentle with yourself during and grateful to yourself after your meditation sessions. You're following through every day with your commitment to lead a more present, engaged, authentic, compassionate life. Acknowledge and celebrate that.
10. Notice the ripple effects in your day.
There are all kinds of ways your time in your meditation seat might ripple into the rest of your day, but often those ripples will seem very subtle, especially at first. So pay attention for even any even tiny shifts you notice showing up in your normal daily life.
Maybe you notice you're able to pause for a micro-moment before responding (instead of reacting) to that annoying thing your boss asks you to do. Maybe you notice it's getting just the slightest bit easier to calm yourself down after a driver cuts you off. Maybe you notice you're starting to be able to take even just one breath before laying into your kids about getting their toys off the floor.
The proof's in the pudding with our meditation practice. Don't worry about gauging "progress" during your meditations. Just keep collecting evidence of micro-shifts in your life.
And if these suggestions don't resonate with you, there are all kinds of meditation practices out there you can explore.
If you're a visual person, you might explore meditations that involve gazing at a candle.
If you're the auditory type, maybe you'll love a guided meditation (Headspace is my personal favorite recommendation).
If you're a kinesthetic person, a walking meditation where you focus on the sensations of your heel, toe, heel, toe hitting the ground, or using mala beads might serve you well.
If you feel most at home in nature, you might move your practice outside to bring in awareness of the sound of birds chirping, the sight of clouds drifting, and the smell of pine needles in your nostrils.
Experiment to find what resonates with you.
And if you're not feeling ready to start a formal meditation practice yet, consider how to incorporate some mindful time into your days building on routines you already have in place.
If you drink coffee or tea every day, you might set a daily intention for that time to be present with whatever arises without judgment.
If you're a runner, consider making some of your runs "mindful runs," where you commit to focusing your attention on the feeling of your feet as they hit the ground or on the sensation of the breath in your chest and nostrils.
If you're a musician, a gardener, or a cook, you could dedicate some of those sessions to noticing the sense of smell, touch, taste, and hearing as you do your thing.
You can play with consciously bringing nonjudgmental intention and awareness into your communication with others to build your mindful communication muscle.
Whatever methods you choose to get started, may you feel supported as you strengthen your mindfulness muscle. Your consistent practice can truly transform your life, and, by extension, contribute to the wellbeing of all beings.
The world thanks you for your commitment to your practice.
With Love,
Melissa
PS — This article also offers some nice insights and practical tips on getting started with your practice.
* Photo by In Her Image Photography