10 Takeaways From My Recent Wedding
After 12 years and one child together, my partner Paul and I decided it was about time we “made it official” :)
We gathered our community together here in the San Francisco area for a beautiful, sunny garden wedding amidst the redwoods in September, and the celebration was truly everything we'd hoped it would be.
I've been reflecting on some takeaways from the experience:
1. We're allowed to do what feels right to us at our own pace, on our own terms in this life.
While my now husband and I were on the same page from the beginning of our relationship that we both felt it would be nice to get married eventually, it just wasn't a must-do top priority for either of us. We both kept consistently showing up in clearly committed ways, and that was enough for both of us for a long time.
And then, in sync, the idea of celebrating the life we've built together from 12 years ago until now and honoring our commitment to one another from here into the future started popping up organically for both of us.
We decided to plan this experience together only because it felt right to both of us now. Not because of any sense of “shoulds” or urgency or external expectation.
And creating this joyful shared experience from this space of authentically aligned desire felt really powerful.
You can do this for yourself too. Give yourself permission to do what feels right for you — from the inside out, on your own terms, at a pace that's right for you.
2. We are all so thirsty for experiences of shared joy, supportive community and collective effervescence these days.
These qualities saturated our wedding weekend but don't have to come only through major milestones. Noticing and creating micro-moments of genuine connection is a potent practice we can all partake in on a daily basis.
3. Aligned, authentic intention manifests in felt experience.
The words we kept hearing guests use to reflect their experience of the wedding directly mirrored the intentions we poured into creating it. Was a powerful reminder that intentions aren't just woo-woo wishes.
They can literally manifest in material form in our external reality.
4. Love, joy and kindness are still so accessible.
Even when our minds feel overwhelmed and our nervous systems are jangled by so much going on in the world.
5. Flowers are proof of the magical nature of the universe :)
6. Public ritual is alchemical.
I “got” the power of public ritual at a whole new level through this experience. To feel so purely, joyfully, whole-heartedly witnessed and cocooned by our beloved community as we stepped across this threshold truly felt sacred.
Never underestimate the transformative potential of being safely held and witnessed in a loving container.
7. Shared laughter and dance are soul balm.
8. Having your child announce you as husband and wife on a mic is delight embodied :)
9. A foundation of love made up of countless bricks of consistent, conscious, loving day-to-day choices is so much more sturdy than fleeting butterflies and projected expectations.
10. There's still so much hope for us humans. Because love is our natural state when we feel safe enough to just be.
How about you — what threshold are you on the precipice of in your own life?
Wishing you an experience of feeling wholly witnessed and lovingly supported as you cross whatever it is.
Lots of Love,
Melissa
PS - If you're at the precipice of your own threshold and craving some support as you step across, reply to this email to chat about possibilities for working together.
* Photos by the wonderful Lisa Vortman and flowers by the fabulous Rae + Rose Floral Co