When Tenderness Is A Good Sign

My coaching clients sometimes note that they feel increasingly tender, maybe more weepy than usual, as we delve into our inner exploration work together. 

I reflect to them that this, rather than a sign that something’s wrong, is often actually a positive byproduct of starting to pay more fine-tuned attention to the nuances of their moment-to-moment experience.

Because when we slow down and tune in intentionally and attentively to our inner experience, we notice more. 

And noticing more through the felt sense in the body, not just with the mind, leads to feeling more. 

When we spend the bulk of our days (and, by extension, our lives) swimming around up in our heads, we’re distanced from feeling. Which makes sense, since keeping feeling at bay feels safer to the vulnerable parts of us who aren’t sure we can handle a broader range of emotions. 

But as soon as we slow down and drop into what our body is experiencing in a given moment, we connect to feeling. 

So the more practiced we become at slowing down, tuning in and dropping in, the more likely we are to feel touched by things we experience in our daily existence. 

These aren’t new things; simply things we hadn’t noticed in as full texture before. 

Now granted, for lots of us, the prospect of feeling more — particularly in the collective moment we’re in as a species — may not be a selling point.

But know that you can just dip a toe into a little more feeling. A bit more allowing your heart to feel touched by a slightly wider spectrum of joy or pain, delight or suffering. 

Because the more we expand our bandwidth of tolerance for feeling on one end of the spectrum, the more it opens on the other end of the spectrum.  

So if you notice you’re feeling more tender as you delve into your inner realm, you might take that as a positive sign that you’re paying closer attention to life as it happens not to you but through you. 

Keep tuning in.

Keep allowing yourself to be touched by this wondrous full-spectrum existence.

Lots of Love,

Melissa

PS - If you’re curious about exploring these themes in a sweetly personalized way, be in touch about 1:1 coaching possibilities.