The more practiced we become at tuning into what we're picking up through our senses in the body and noting and naming what we're feeling emotionally in any given moment, the more easily and consistently we can initiate positive change.

Having not been back to Nosara, Costa Rica in 17 years, I knew it would feel amazing to be here, but also anticipated it possibly feeling a bit bittersweet. Historically when I've revisited places that felt transformative to my younger self I've often still felt part of myself “tugged” toward them, my mind quietly conjuring fantasies of upending my life in the States and moving myself / my family to this slower-paced, more Earth- and rhythms-of-life-connected, simpler-lifestyled place. But what I felt this time was, instead, a deep and peaceful sense of integration.

We can be scared and brave at the same time. Fear and resistance don't have to be taken as red lights. They can be interpreted or explored, rather, as signs that something within us is calling for some attention, inquiry, or care. We can view fear and resistance as flashing yellow lights calling our attention inward to explore our inner landscape and see where the fear or resistance is coming from so we can validate, soothe, calm, reassure, and resource those unsure parts of us.

The practice of repeatedly and consistently withdrawing our attention from what things look like outside of us and turning our attention instead inward toward what things feel like within us, while at first glance a seemingly subtle shift, is actually quite revolutionary. Because self-love is a natural byproduct of self-intimacy. Self-intimacy is a natural byproduct of self-friendliness. Self-friendliness is a natural byproduct of self-awareness.

Given the right conditions and consistent care, that seedling of the part of yourself you've been missing can be nourished back toward flourishing. It all depends on which parts of yourself you place your intention and your attention on again and again and again.

Authenticity naturally and effortlessly radiates from you when you're in a reasonably relaxed, centered, embodied (connected to the felt sense of being in a body, rather than being lost in thought) state. Being authentic actually requires zero thought and — hard as this can feel to wrap our conceptual minds around — zero effort.

This is one of the most overlooked benefits of self-compassion: That while many of us initially fear that treating ourselves more kindly will be a slippery slope into slothdom, the opposite actually tends to prove true.

This is what community does for us, right? It lets us feel capable of handling more than we've felt capable of handling on our own. It helps lessen our load when things feel too much to bear on our own. 

Interconnectedness is our natural state of being. We simply have to remind ourselves to remember to notice moments of connection as they naturally arise.

We tend to try to rush past that soupy phase into our next — less messy, less unpleasant — phase. And understandably so. The “soupy phase” doesn't tend to be much fun. But it's a necessary part of the process of transformation.

How does anyone get their emotional needs met when everyone’s bandwidth seems to be shrunken down in the same moment? I think we can start by going back to the Golden Rule — aka the preschool-style basics of being human.

How can we compassionately honor our own pace and emotional and energetic needs and limits as we begin to blend "inside" and "outside" in this reentry phase?

This is the same thing we're doing with self-compassion practice as adults. We're (re)installing that gentle, nurturing, maternal-type, soothing voice within ourselves that helps us feel safe and calm so we can access a sense of resilience from within whenever we need it — particularly when we're struggling, feeling scared, inept, or alone.

Ongoing pandemic or not, we still have so much control over where we place our intention and our attention. What are you pointing yours toward as we move into this (symbolic but as meaningful as we decide it to be) fresh start of the new year?

Our systems -- physical, mental, emotional, logistical, relational -- are being taxed to constantly reconfigure themselves. And the go-to practices you generally turn toward to fill your well may feel like they're just not working like they normally would.

So now here we are. Each of us in our own family units, our own communities, this country, and the world, together in this same wild situation. Reminded every day – every moment, in fact - how inextricably interwoven our cells and well-being and lives as beings on this planet are.

This path of spiritual/personal growth is rife with paradox. Things that appear on the surface to be contradictory but upon deeper exploration reveal themselves as deep Truth (capital T).

What if the more you practice hanging with the discomfort of the I-don't-know-ness rather than trying to distract yourself from it or solve your way out of it, the more strength and trust that you can handle whatever life throws at you you'll start to own within yourself?

We can't tap into our most essentially creative power or the flow of abundance when we're rushing forward.

Our fullest power and potential are only available when we're firmly grounded in this present moment. 

So it's not a question of whether we'll suffer. It's only a question of whether that suffering will feed our highest Selves and set more ripples of kindness and love into motion into the world, or feed our ego and unconscious patterns in ways that perpetuate the endless cycle of suffering.