The Simple Way to Change a Habit
I loved my studio apartment in my single days. It was charming, sunny...and old, with just a few quirkily placed outlets.
So when I first moved in I would unplug my refrigerator to blow dry my hair.
It took months for me to realize I didn't have to risk spoiling my eggs to dry my bangs. I finally rigged up an extension cord, and things became much simpler.
This is how habit change is.
We're so used to doing something the same old way we've always done it that we don't consider better ways to do it.
But often our old way of doing things is, like my fridge-powered hair drying, a bit…insane.
You started doing what you're doing because it made sense at the time. It's what you were taught, it's how everyone else does it, it was the easiest thing, you think it's just temporary.
But the more you do it that way now, the less likely you'll be to change how you do it later.
That's why having awareness of what you're doing as you're doing it is so huge.
If you pay attention to the repeated actions you're taking (and thoughts you're thinking, words you're speaking) now, you can lay the bricks of the supportive habits you want to become your default M.O. down the road.
The first step to changing a habit - however deeply entrenched it is - is to become aware that you have it.
So what have you been doing for a long (or loooong) time that doesn't really make sense to you anymore?
Talking trash to yourself all day long?
Dismissing every guy you go out with for being too short?
Doing what you think you should be doing, then resenting it because it's not what you actually want to do?
Great. Now that you see in the clear light of day how crazy-making that habit is, you can decide to do something differently.
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean that's the best way to do it.
Or that you have to keep doing it that way.
Awareness is all you need to initiate a shift.
First, notice that you're doing something that's not working so well for you anymore.
Then start to explore why you're doing it.
(Hint: It's because it gives you something you like to feel).
Once you're clear on your "why," check out new ways you could get yourself the same old sense of reward, but in a positive new way.
Then start to do that thing instead. A lot.
That’s it!
Get clear on what you're doing and why you're doing it, and a more self-loving how to do it will flow naturally from there.
You can change. Let yourself see it to believe it.
Lots of Love,